okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
