I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
