dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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