just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
