Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
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He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
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I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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