Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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