In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
