Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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