They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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