I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize