fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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