bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
