I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
