jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
