her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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