I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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