you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
