booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
