The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
