How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
