It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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