i just wanna soil my oats bro
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
