it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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