This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
