that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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