he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
