I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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