bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
