Im at strip club and am horny
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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