uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
