if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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