on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
