We won't sleep together?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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