I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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