Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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