fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I understand Curling. That high.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
