fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize