Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think your dad took our porno
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
