i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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