I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
