his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
