And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
