What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
