they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
