you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize