You smell like stripper and shame
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize