she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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