yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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