so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
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Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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