I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Vodka?
Forever.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
