Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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