it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just found puke in my bra..
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
