My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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