doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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