hell yes lets make some ravioli
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
