The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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