I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
