Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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