And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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