I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
There are leaves in my underwear?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
