I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
