can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
