And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
