porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
