His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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