Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
