So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize