Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
