eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
